by Doreen Hopwood
I pass beneath
trees heavy with blossom, their creamy flowering sheds sweet, musty pollen into the air, overpowering my senses
as I move along
hedgerows full and overflowing; wild garlic and bluebells voluptuously spill out, throwing a magic carpet beneath the trees, shimmering
where I walk
in the soft, spring sunshine, flowing around a bramble patch, whose prickled lines of grasping tendrils catch at everything in their path,
scratching my legs;
sharp thorns leave red welts as I fall, blue sky disappearing behind the weave and weft of sprouting thicket where I lie in still confusion,
until I find myself
trudging down and down, no sign of a white rabbit pulling out his watch to frown at passing time, a habit I am all too familiar with.
Descending deeper,
I marvel at vertiginous stalactites, pale and opaque in the disconsolate gloom, as the libidinous, pulling, sucking earth takes my shoes, leaving me barefoot
in the glutinous soil. I struggle on, hugging the walls of quartz that line this place, their faceted prisms providing a glitz of light deep in this space within space, where all is familiar, yet strange.
I am ploughing
such a furrow through my being, pushing aside roots thrusting their way through the ceiling of this underworld, trusting they will find nourishment
in the deep, dark depths;
these Hanging Gardens of Bablyon in reverse, where strange creatures eke out their existence upon the arborescent rootlets, their features obscured and blurred,
scurrying hither and thither
hiding from the denizens of this subterranean forest, predators seeking their end, blind troglodytes who taste the air with lascivious tongues,
scenting their prey.
Am I an exiled Queen, immured in this dark garden behind the door of my heart? Unseen, lachrymose and heavy laden, longing for home?
Abandoned to my fate?
But who is this on the crystal throne? Crouching naked, eyes excoriating my flesh to the pale, bleached bone? I stand in excrutiating fear and dread,
waiting,
willing this creature to speak; for this is no gentle Persephone, no sweet maiden, meek and mild, this is my enemy, Queen of the Dead,
and I trespass
deep within Her domain. 'Hail sister!' Her voice like frosted leaves beneath my feet; I remain silent as the words ensnare and freeze the air around me,
filling my lungs with ice.
'I am Persephone, some may call me Erishkigel, my husband calls me Wife.' The glacial tones rasp on as She tells me tales of a Hellish life through Her lipless mouth,
skull's teeth gleaming
as She smiles at my discomfiture; at least I think Her grimace is imagined as a smile, to lure me, distract me from her awful face and putrescent flesh.
Bony fingers snap loudly.
'Cat got your tongue?' I am jolted out of my torpor as these icicle words are flung at me, making me an offer of possible exculpation
from my transgression
into Her realm, Her dominion. She watches me impatiently, ophidian eyes gleaming as She awaits my opinion, my explanation, my lies and excuses.
I open my mouth.
She leans forward expectantly, 'I fell down a hole....' my vocal cords articulate reluctantly. I look at my feet. 'You stole my shoes..'
I mutter lamely.
'Your shoes? Her tone is imperious, contemptuous, 'The dead have no need for shoes!' 'Dead? Are you serious?' She postulates 'Why else should you choose to stand before Hades' wife?'
Why indeed?
'Do you mean to bargain with me?' She muses, Her breath a sibilant rush of frigid air. ' You think I'll set you free? Your journey here a brush with fate?
Just a social call?'
I gaze, transfixed by fear, as worms begin a serpiginous journey, slithering from her ear, spreading like a contagious disease across her cheekbone.
She appears not to notice,
face framed by Stygian blackness stretching into the void behind Her chair, labyrinthine tunnels where the Minotaur toyed with his victims.
I am no Ariadne
bravely clutching my ball of wool; I see no Theseus rushing to my rescue as I stand before this cool, implacable Goddess who holds me in Her thrall.
She tosses Her hair,
once luxuriant tresses, now thin and lank, flop in ropes of grey rats tails around her shoulders, as a rank odour of decay assails my nostrils,
making me retch.
'You find my person displeasing?' She asks, Her querulous tongue creaking like a glacier easing its way through far flung mountain passes,
destroying everything in its path.
She rises, gargantuan, from her seat, looming before me in decrepit omnipotence; 'Did you think Death would meet you in Shining Magnificence with angelsong and harp?'
'Waving you through Golden Gates?'
She gestures towards her ruined frame, 'This is the reality of Death, Death devours and maims, Death returns you to the Earth, to sleep the dreamless sleep. There is no escape, no happy ending.
You pass through Seven Gates of Life; Birth, Childhood, Adolescence, Motherhood, the time to procreate, Middle Age, Old Age and the Absence of Breath
delivers you, finally, to Me!'
She cackles gelidly at Her little joke as I frantically seek a flaw in her argument, a technical stick to poke in her decomposing maw, to crack her bony ribs with.
The silence crackles like breaking ice;
I rack my brain desperately, forcing my thoughts to push their way through the icy numbness stealthily enfolding me in its hoary sway, closing down my awareness,
freezing the blood in my veins.
I clutch at the first straw presented; 'I have just arrived at the Fifth Gate, it's too early, you have miscalculated!' I gabble incoherently, hoping I'm not too late, 'I still have two gates left!'
She chuckles softly,
the sound blankets my head like snow on a winter's morning, 'All this counting! You have misread my powers! Clothos is spinning the thread of life,
Lachesis measures,
Apropos cuts; Mathematics was never My strong point! Geometry, algebra, physics, Theories of Relativity Pythagoras and pii,
it's all a mystery to Me!
It's not personal you know.' She regards me dispassionately. I sense that I am beginning to bore Her, as the complete futility of resistance sinks in.
I am doomed.
'There is no rhyme nor reason, the scissors snip, and someone dies, there is no right time, no right season, no pitiful cries have ever swayed The Fates, The Moirai!'
She moves towards me,
'Come.' Her sigh a boreal blast of bleakest desolation. I accept my fate, aquiescent at last, moving towards annhiliation in silent and incomprehending sorrow.
Her smile is wintry,
teeth bared like jagged, snow capped mountains glittering in the thin, alpine air. I am trapped like a fox in a snare, locked within some unspeakable nightmare.
She ushers me forward,
propelling me towards the murky shadows. I am jolted out of my somnulent state when Her mottled, disintegrating hands close around me, allowing terror to dissipate as the instinct for survival wins through.
I will not go quietly.
Swallowed by the embrace of darkness, We move silently through unillumined halls and down fathomless steps; I keep pace, determined and resolute,
guided unnerringly
by Persephone's grip on my soul, ears straining to hear Her monologue as She continues to extol the virtues of Death and the fog of non existence,
Her words weaving in and out
of the tenebrous atmosphere, while I, shamefully, despite my best intentions, weep, allowing rivers of tears to flow in bitter lamentation down my face.
I am not so brave after all.
Unexpectedly, a presence brushes by me, disturbing the turgid air around us, as Persephone rushes onwards, oblivious to my despair, intent on our destination.
She senses the change,
and in that moment, the gloom begins to lift imperceptibly as the cavernous room explodes with a cacophany of dithyrambic song,
piercing the dark miasma.
Shadowy figures emerge and surround their skeletal, decomposing Queen; they carry silver platters bearing mounds of slippery red seeds whose luscious sheen casts a warm glow all around
as they genuflect before Her.
She stops Her headlong rush, and for a long moment appears perplexed, hand raised to hush the frenzied singing, gangerenous face intent on the sweet scented fruit
so invitingly offered.
Throwing back Her head She shrieks aloud a wild ululation of joy! 'Awaken you souls of the Dead! Prepare for your resurrection, you are no longer undone!'
My Mother reclaims Me!
She reaches out and greedily snatches handfuls of seeds; I stare in mesmerised fascination as patches of fresh, new skin rapidly speed over this ravaged, walking corpse
as She consumes the trophic ambrosia.
I am swept on in the continued plunge to a point of light shining dimly in the distance, which begins to expunge the suffocating darkness grimly and insidiously intent
on holding me here.
Persephone is no longer walking in Her disarticulated, cadaverous gait; she skips along lightly, laughing and talking, returned to her maidenly state, virginal,
breasts high and firm,
hips rounded and sleek, hair a glossy mane, skin smooth and unlined, She is ripe and juicy again, Her smile is serene, Her eyes are kind, Her voice is musical;
She is bathed in light.
The singing reaches a crescendo, erupting out of the cave into a verdant meadow; Perspehone's Mother rushes to save Her luminous child.
I am crushed by an unseen force,
air squeezed from my lungs; I gasp for breath, as heat merges with tongues of fire washing up from my feet, suffusing me in languorous warmth,
boneless and sensual;
nymphs and satyrs moisten my lips with Persephone's seeds, as voluptuous desire stirs my senses, and leads me into wild erotic fantasies
of hedonistic pleasures.
I am lost to reason, time and space; if this is Death, I am Her slave, locked in Dionysis' orgiastic embrace, I no longer wish to be saved, unconscious,
oblivious to everything
but the waves of esctatic joy flooding my body and mind, the rapturous thudding of my heart primed with the pulsating, priapic vigour
of my inamorato.
The wild, abandoned singing is replaced by the song of a solitary thrush, the gentle rustle of leaves displaced by a soft, playful rush of zephyrs' breath,
whispering secrets
high above this Elysian field of trenchant bliss. Reluctantly, I open my eyes, yield to the call of consciousness, the sun's kiss hot on my brow,
dazzling my gaze
as I blink in the spangled sunshine. Shimmering shapes hover above me, enveloped in a coruscating paradigm of light; through dreamy eyes I see my lover's smiling face
beneath two curving horns.
Persephone laughs in my ear, the cadence of her voice an iridescent sound of crystal clear purity, reminiscent of long dead castrati
singing their hearts out
in a mockery of everlasting youth; 'Just like you' I hear myself shout, 'None of this is real, this is not the truth, not what Death is all about! You lied!'
Persephone sinks gracefuly by my side
She smiles a coquestish, girlish smile, and gives me Her hand, disarming me with her numinous wiles, 'Don't you understand the purpose of the Great Rite?
The Hieros Gamos?
The Goddess must lie with Her consort or Earth will wither and die.' 'Just like me!' I retort. Her smile is incandescent.
'You descended into the Underworld,
journeyed through darkness, confronted immortals, searched your soul for answers, passed through the portals of your own terror,
and embraced your fate.
Your courage has given you freedom, the Sacred Ritual is done, the Earth will flourish and bloom, the seeds of life are sown, the greening has returned.
Your rebirth is complete.'
the solitary thrush sings on. Persephone's golden voice fades into the distance, as long fingers of sunlight pierce the shade of the bramble patch,
illuminating my lover's search for my shoes.
©April 2007, Doreen Hopwood
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